Plans for the future

After summer vacation we began the second of three school terms. Every school has an opening ceremony at the beginning of each term, and this term’s ceremony at the junior high school was mercifully short. In general I think that the number of ceremonies and the procedures taken tend to be excessive if not altogether unnecessary, but that day’s ceremony made me think. About a quarter of it was dedicated to students reading an essay they wrote, probably at the end of last term. The subject was what they planned to do better this term. They all said that they would study harder for tests, for example.

This made me think about the power of saying (maybe communicating?) what you are or what you intend. Because the students announced their intentions, maybe their friends will hold them accountable, or maybe their own conscience will remind them. I remember that I told some people that I was going to bike to Matsumoto one night, and even though I didn’t want to do it, I did it because I had said that I would. Also, when I write on a social media profile that I like something, I feel some kind of compulsion to do that activity regardless of whether I feel like doing it or not.

Back on the future job front, I had been considering a more practical job like construction work to try out when I go back home. I looked into that and some other trade-type jobs, and it seems like two of the best trades are electrician and welder. Welding honestly sounds less interesting, more uncomfortable and involving a lot of heat. Being an electrician is apparently more dangerous, but it involves more creative and/or interpretative thinking and is less physical. Construction was the main thing I was interested in, but it sounds like a lot of hard work and doesn’t pay much better than customer service, whereas an electrician can make more than a teacher. Not as much as a programmer though, ugh.

I thought of a new idea for programming though—what if I focus on embedded systems? There are plenty of jobs for that, and they seem more worthwhile because they interact with the physical world. Also, they tend to use C from what I understand, which is a language I am familiar with. Having some electrician experience would be beneficial too, I would think. Although my programming education is getting further away from the present, I feel that if I ever get enough motivation to actually make something, I can probably get a job. I get a weekly email about programming which always has at least one story about someone who learned programming and got a job in a short amount of time.

In my last entry I mentioned that I might not be able to stay in one place for a long time. But instead of simply accepting this wanderlust as a part of my personality, I considered, “why do I want to move?” Maybe it’s partially social. I feel like my social group is stagnant and unsatisfying. I’m nervous about investing more in people, because there are more expectations, and I have difficulty remembering things about people unless I feel like I make a good connection with them. I think that’s part of the reason that I take breaks from church—I’m dissatisfied with my relations with people, and I want to try starting over.

Sure, I also want to experience new things and I do get tired of old things, but I’ve also never been in anything I considered a permanent position in the US, or anywhere else, for that matter. I’ve never thought to myself, “I could see myself doing this (or something closely related) in five or ten years.” I tried to get there with a programming job, but I was overwhelmed with my lack of success, and I wanted to go to Japan, and yeah, it was May, which is when I tend to get restless. So as soon as possible I should try finding a job that would potentially be more or less permanent, and then see if I really do have wanderlust. Also, improve my attitude or ability to interact with people. Hah.

But first I’m going to get my master’s in education. The school (Liberty University) has had all my documents for a week, but because I told them that I live in Japan they think that I’m a foreign citizen and therefore expect me to submit English proficiency scores. They haven’t yet responded to my emailed corrections, so it is looking like I won’t be officially accepted in time to start classes next month. Hopefully that won’t throw off my schedule though, and I’ll be able to finish the program by summer of 2021.