Russia: The Next Generation

Or something like that.

So I arrived in Russia with very little incident. It was probably my least pleasant flying experience though for three reasons: I was getting sick, the flight meals were skimpy and unappetizing, and there was no way to watch films. This makes me sound spoiled. I suppose I am--this was the only overseas flight I've ever taken in which there was no TV. Eight hours is a long time to read a book (well, most books) and I like to take breaks with a film or two. Plus, it's the only time I really watch the latest films. So I was quite disappointed, and I recommend that anyone travelling overseas avoid United Airlines if possible, unless you've got several snacks packed and a really good plan for entertainment.

I don't usually talk to people while I'm travelling. One time I was reading a Japanese book and a Chinese couple sitting next to me noticed and asked me about it, and then we talked a little bit. I think that was pretty much the only time I've had a real conversation with fellow travelers. But this time, in the Geneva airport, a couple of my fellow travelers to Moscow struck up a conversation. The first was a Thai girl who worked in America but was traveling to see St. Basil's Cathedral because it was on her bucket list. She said that she went to Rio de Janeiro last month and saw Christ the Redeemer. I should have asked her what her job was.

A few minutes later a fellow American started talking to me--he was a Russian major studying abroad this semester in a smaller town. He had had a pretty crazy life, it sounded like, but he still seemed a bit intimidated by Russia. Also, he was arriving with no contact information, no idea of who would pick him up or at what time, and with only a calendar year of Russian under his command. I wanted to help him, but the line at security was enormous, and when I got out my taxi was waiting and she rushed me out the door. Hopefully he made it okay.

Every time I start a full-time job I wonder, “can I really do this? Can I really survive this way?” My first full-time job involved selling car parts. I decided very quickly that I couldn't survive that way. In France I survived, but I felt pretty terrible doing it. In Vietnam I was super nervous for the first few days, but somehow I eventually got to the point of enjoying it. It was pretty rough for my students, but they were used to worse I suppose. On my first day in Russia I had a complaint from my boss, and on the second day the students complained about me, so it was pretty rough. I made it through though because I didn't feel that either problem was really my fault.

Tuesday was my first time teaching in about seven weeks, and I was pretty nervous. This morning I unexpectedly had to make a trip to the central office in Moscow to pick up my textbooks, which left me only a couple of hours to prepare for six academic hours. Everything went swimmingly though, and once I started teaching I mostly knew what to do and never really felt nervous. But still I wonder—will I be plagued by doubt in my abilities for the rest of my life? Is this a condition especially prevalent in the field of teaching, and if I took another job would I be spared of it? I suppose there aren't many jobs where you have long breaks in the middle like this, so the reasonable answer would be yes. Thoughts?