I often wonder if most people have as much trouble as I do sticking to one thing. My plans and hobbies constantly change. Generally when I have some accountability, I can see something through to the end, if it's not too long. But a list of the things that I have done to completion would be quite short. So far I have finished two work contracts, and to be honest, while I enjoyed both jobs, it felt like a heroic effort to make it to the end.
I have had even more second-guesses about my career choices since I came to Russia. I've been here three and a half months, and about once a week I decide that I'm never going to teach again after this year. I would go back home and work one of those 29-hour week jobs (that are probably in good supply now) while going to school to study computer science. This would lead to a stable job with a salary decent enough to support a family. My job would involve less contact with people and I would be doing work that focused on problem-solving instead of directing and performing. It sounds really nice, although I'm probably idealizing it.
But then I think about living in the US and not being able to meet interesting or different people and rarely if ever experiencing new cultures again. I think of the solitude of life in the US, of having to drive to work every day, of being bombarded with extravagance and yet feeling that it's normal and necessary. What if I never live in Japan, if I never live in the Middle East... would life still be fulfilling?
Tonight I felt very fulfilled after work. I thought about my schedule and realized that aside from my new high-pressure business class, I really like all of my classes. Anyway, I bought a digital piano for Christmas, which I consider to be the signing of a second contract (as long as it is offered to me). Furthermore, there's no way I can learn Russian to a satisfactory level in the next 6 months, and I think that is one goal that I will maintain for a long time, since I think it is the most beautiful language.
Speaking of languages... (Uh oh, he said the l-word, that means it's time for a LANGUAGE RANT)
I last updated my language goals over a year ago, but only to add one more language to the twelve that two years ago I decided to learn. I'm reconsidering my goals now, perhaps because I'm at a low point in my language studying. I love languages--there's no doubt about that. However, I've discovered over the past two years that my passion (or perhaps my discipline, or both) isn't strong enough to sustain my goals, especially when there are so many other things I want to delve into (for example, fantasy cartography). I have put a good bit of effort in learning several of these languages, so I have a better idea of what I really want now. Also, I think that one reason I study languages is to be more proud of myself, to impress more people, and the more languages the more impressed they'll be. Obviously this is a poor reason. So I've decided to re-evaluate my goals again in attempt to be more realistic.
Russian - I think if there's any language that I'm determined to learn to near fluency, both speaking and reading, it's Russian. It never ceases to enchant me, even though I've heard it so often in the past months. And yet I've made very little effort to improve it while I've been here. Something needs to change, but I'm still deciding what that is.
French - I'm happy with where I am in French, although I would like to expose myself to it a little more often. I think I should try to set a very moderate goal of reading three novels or so in a year and watching the news once a week, just to make sure I don't regress much. I'm considering going back to France for a visit, perhaps even this year, so if I do that I'll work harder at it.
Japanese - as I mentioned, I still intend to go to Japan someday, and I've got a long way to go in the language. Unlike with the other languages, I haven't encountered any Japanese literature that has enchanted me--I learn it purely for the language mechanics, so I'll be happy if I can read newspapers slowly and converse haltingly. Even so, I need to set a goal with Japanese which is more strenuous than with French--maybe 20 minutes a day or so.
Arabic - I don't know why, but I feel strongly drawn to Islamic culture. The Arabic language is central to this culture. So I intend to learn Arabic someday. For now I have no goals, but if I can establish a routine for my other languages maybe I'll consider it. I do know that it will take years for me to just get accustomed to it, so the sooner I start exposing myself to it, the better. A year ago I could read Arabic (with the vowel marks) almost as well as Russian, but I've barely studied it at all since then.
German - People say that German is an ugly language. For me hearing it conjures up images of the Nibelungenlied, Beowulf, and Tolkien. When I studied it every day, I considered it the most fun of all the languages. I don't have any immediate motivation to study, but I definitely want to improve my German significantly one day. Incidentally, I think if I could move anywhere else in Europe, it would be Germany.
Spanish - it's a useful and accessible language, and lovely to sing. I like speaking it almost as much as German. For the moment I have little reason to learn it, but I think if I decided to do so then I could pick it up fairly quickly. So I'm still on the fence about whether I should remove this from my list of languages.
Latin - it's fun, but I will never speak it fluently, and when I tried to read some literature I decided that it wasn't interesting enough to really put a lot of time into. This will probably be a hobby language--one that I pick up when I really want to study something else.
Italian - I wanted to learn this for the sake of some operas and some medieval/renaissance literature. One of my coworkers has spoken some Italian, and I've decided that I don't have much interest in learning it after all. The medieval/renaissance literature is hardly riveting, and though the opera is a bit of a loss I think I can find other, less time-consuming ways of understanding it.
Chinese - I tried studying Chinese. Not much, but enough to find it frustrating and boring. I like to hear some people speaking it, and I think it would be extremely profitable to understand and speak myself, but I don't think these will happen.
Greek and Hebrew - obviously I wanted to learn these to be able to read the Bible. Unless I decide to go to seminary, these are not very relevant to me. They might be good study-for-fun languages, but I no longer intend to achieve literacy.
Persian and Sanskrit - okay, to be honest, I picked these out more because they sounded interesting and important. I've not put any effort whatsoever into learning them. Once again, I might study them for fun, but unless I end up going to Iran I'm not going to put much effort into Persian, and it was pure ambiance that inspired me to learn Sanskrit (although some of the writing styles are so cool!)
So this still leaves me with five or six foreign languages to study, which is a lot, but my French doesn't require much more effort and I have a solid start on the others (except Arabic).
I have had even more second-guesses about my career choices since I came to Russia. I've been here three and a half months, and about once a week I decide that I'm never going to teach again after this year. I would go back home and work one of those 29-hour week jobs (that are probably in good supply now) while going to school to study computer science. This would lead to a stable job with a salary decent enough to support a family. My job would involve less contact with people and I would be doing work that focused on problem-solving instead of directing and performing. It sounds really nice, although I'm probably idealizing it.
But then I think about living in the US and not being able to meet interesting or different people and rarely if ever experiencing new cultures again. I think of the solitude of life in the US, of having to drive to work every day, of being bombarded with extravagance and yet feeling that it's normal and necessary. What if I never live in Japan, if I never live in the Middle East... would life still be fulfilling?
Tonight I felt very fulfilled after work. I thought about my schedule and realized that aside from my new high-pressure business class, I really like all of my classes. Anyway, I bought a digital piano for Christmas, which I consider to be the signing of a second contract (as long as it is offered to me). Furthermore, there's no way I can learn Russian to a satisfactory level in the next 6 months, and I think that is one goal that I will maintain for a long time, since I think it is the most beautiful language.
Speaking of languages... (Uh oh, he said the l-word, that means it's time for a LANGUAGE RANT)
I last updated my language goals over a year ago, but only to add one more language to the twelve that two years ago I decided to learn. I'm reconsidering my goals now, perhaps because I'm at a low point in my language studying. I love languages--there's no doubt about that. However, I've discovered over the past two years that my passion (or perhaps my discipline, or both) isn't strong enough to sustain my goals, especially when there are so many other things I want to delve into (for example, fantasy cartography). I have put a good bit of effort in learning several of these languages, so I have a better idea of what I really want now. Also, I think that one reason I study languages is to be more proud of myself, to impress more people, and the more languages the more impressed they'll be. Obviously this is a poor reason. So I've decided to re-evaluate my goals again in attempt to be more realistic.
Russian - I think if there's any language that I'm determined to learn to near fluency, both speaking and reading, it's Russian. It never ceases to enchant me, even though I've heard it so often in the past months. And yet I've made very little effort to improve it while I've been here. Something needs to change, but I'm still deciding what that is.
French - I'm happy with where I am in French, although I would like to expose myself to it a little more often. I think I should try to set a very moderate goal of reading three novels or so in a year and watching the news once a week, just to make sure I don't regress much. I'm considering going back to France for a visit, perhaps even this year, so if I do that I'll work harder at it.
Japanese - as I mentioned, I still intend to go to Japan someday, and I've got a long way to go in the language. Unlike with the other languages, I haven't encountered any Japanese literature that has enchanted me--I learn it purely for the language mechanics, so I'll be happy if I can read newspapers slowly and converse haltingly. Even so, I need to set a goal with Japanese which is more strenuous than with French--maybe 20 minutes a day or so.
Arabic - I don't know why, but I feel strongly drawn to Islamic culture. The Arabic language is central to this culture. So I intend to learn Arabic someday. For now I have no goals, but if I can establish a routine for my other languages maybe I'll consider it. I do know that it will take years for me to just get accustomed to it, so the sooner I start exposing myself to it, the better. A year ago I could read Arabic (with the vowel marks) almost as well as Russian, but I've barely studied it at all since then.
German - People say that German is an ugly language. For me hearing it conjures up images of the Nibelungenlied, Beowulf, and Tolkien. When I studied it every day, I considered it the most fun of all the languages. I don't have any immediate motivation to study, but I definitely want to improve my German significantly one day. Incidentally, I think if I could move anywhere else in Europe, it would be Germany.
Spanish - it's a useful and accessible language, and lovely to sing. I like speaking it almost as much as German. For the moment I have little reason to learn it, but I think if I decided to do so then I could pick it up fairly quickly. So I'm still on the fence about whether I should remove this from my list of languages.
Latin - it's fun, but I will never speak it fluently, and when I tried to read some literature I decided that it wasn't interesting enough to really put a lot of time into. This will probably be a hobby language--one that I pick up when I really want to study something else.
Italian - I wanted to learn this for the sake of some operas and some medieval/renaissance literature. One of my coworkers has spoken some Italian, and I've decided that I don't have much interest in learning it after all. The medieval/renaissance literature is hardly riveting, and though the opera is a bit of a loss I think I can find other, less time-consuming ways of understanding it.
Chinese - I tried studying Chinese. Not much, but enough to find it frustrating and boring. I like to hear some people speaking it, and I think it would be extremely profitable to understand and speak myself, but I don't think these will happen.
Greek and Hebrew - obviously I wanted to learn these to be able to read the Bible. Unless I decide to go to seminary, these are not very relevant to me. They might be good study-for-fun languages, but I no longer intend to achieve literacy.
Persian and Sanskrit - okay, to be honest, I picked these out more because they sounded interesting and important. I've not put any effort whatsoever into learning them. Once again, I might study them for fun, but unless I end up going to Iran I'm not going to put much effort into Persian, and it was pure ambiance that inspired me to learn Sanskrit (although some of the writing styles are so cool!)
So this still leaves me with five or six foreign languages to study, which is a lot, but my French doesn't require much more effort and I have a solid start on the others (except Arabic).
Hey Josh - you are so awesome! Yes, I think most people experience off and on relationships with their jobs, hobbies, etc. When we get tired of something, we say we are "in a rut." Then we either do as you have- reevaluate! Or we take a trip! HA! That said, Dad and I go to NYC in about 3 hours. I am so excited! I love you and I think you are one of the most interesting people I have ever met. We have Monday off- hope to talk to you then!
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